hey bra

im at the uni
i would leave you a myspace comment but myspace is being all gay and slow
...must be brisbane
im hella bored
ohhh and yeah, i dont want to go to my lecture...its gonna suck arse
it just occurred to me that i dont know how to leave this place...where is the exit? Do i go out the way i came in? ): this place sucks.

i have nooooo idea how to activate my id card so that i can put money on it and print stuff...maybe i wont have to do it anyway...fingers crossed

wow this comment is pretty damn long ay?
anywho

ciao

ps
i want to go home lol
i miss the sunny coast

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( ..)
c(__)

Meet Wrong - Bunny, my favourite bunny in the whole wide world...

!!!
On Friday night we had a poker night and the game hates me. Tony gave me a lot of his money so I could stay in, and Ange donated as well, and I still lost dismally.
But I left with two NZ 5c pieces and they have iguanas on them. And we put all the money together and we're going to buy a proper poker set with chips and everything so next time we'll play properly and maybe the game won't hate me anymore.

Yesterday Brian and Garry and I played lawn bowls for about two hours. I can't believe how much fun it is! Here I was thinking it was the sport for people who can't move much, but how wrong I was. I lost that too, I finished on 5 and Brian and Garry were on 11 or 12, but Brian meddled with the scoreboard and put me on 9, haha. And it was my first time and I still got 5 points! I was so happy.

And last night we played Taboo, which is the absolute best game in the world. Sooo funny when we play. With we being the family clan. I was with Ange and she said something so hilariously funny that I think I may have stopped breathing. I certainly had tears pouring down my face. A few people gave me looks of concern, haha.

I like my family sooooooo much.

It reminds me of schoolies when Jesse and I played Cranium and he got too excited and gouged a hole in my forehead with a lead pencil.

Hope disco bowling was merry. I don't like the new rule where you can't have bumpers. That makes me very sad inside and it also makes me really terrible at the bowling aspect.

I don't work till Thursday. THURSDAY. And I have to go to uni tomorrow and am suitably frightened.

haha. i forget what the sad face was for lol. tonight, i am disco bowling!

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maybe i need fantasy, a life of chasing butterflies.

:c(
Why be this face so sad like?
Amen good grammar.
Maybe working between Tim and David would cure what ails thee. It sure made my day.

:c(

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maybe i need fantasy, a life of chasing butterflies.

Swimming is ALWAYS a good idea.
I am doing Tuesday 8.30 till 1.30 (see you there. I'll try and get Grant to put me next to you. He would, but Troy tends to get in the way of these things. Ooh you should try to sweet talk Grant/Troy too, ha)
Wednesday 10-1.15 (weirdest shift in the WORLD)
Friday 8-12.30
Ah Coles.

TWO O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING!! Golly! Haha. Remember, even if you're wearing a raincoat, you still get wet. Thank YOU guest speaker #36749 at Nambour Christian College.

I'm listening to Jimmy Eat World at the moment. I do love them.

gah, i need some clothes.
it is so hot. i might go for a swim soon, it seems like a good idea.
when are you working this week? i am doing
tuesday: 8-12
wednesday: 2:30-6:30
saturday: 3-6
so yes.
you know how i told you jamie stayed til 12:30 the other night? well last night he stayed til 2. 2! yeah it was cool.

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maybe i need fantasy, a life of chasing butterflies.

That is very true. She is fantastic too, as is DFO because I am now a lot poorer but possessing a lot more material possessions. With material in the most literal sense, meaning CLOTHES.

I need a massage.

bianca's hair is fantastic.

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maybe i need fantasy, a life of chasing butterflies.

Oh gosh, 12.30!! That is a very obscene hour. I was not working today, regrettably, but did see Narnia for the third time. Of these three times, I have paid for one. I like the arrangement.

I am once more of the opinion that I am eternally single. I will now begin to research various convents, and see which one is best suited to my needs.

ps. no, I have not ever wondered what a chicken in a bikini might look like, and don't think I will begin to wonder as that would deeply disturb me.

pps. we saw Chris (you remember, the ass guy) at the plaza today with a girl wearing what we concluded had to be some sort of towel. There was minimal material. I think she was trying to pass it off as a dress, but with little success. Anyway, Liisa and I looked at them with disgust, ran into Jesse, and abused them for a while. It was fun.

ppps. Bianca is also a mighty cool service person. I like her most of all.

grant is probably the coolest service desk person ever. he is so cheery all the time. i like him and eryn.
jamie just left my house and it is 12:30am. AM! he got up to kiss me goodnight and things really escalated quickly. it got out of hand fast. haha it was funny though. "goodnight... ok maybe not..."

ps. if you are working tomorrow i will show you my hickey! i made him give me one. it is in a covered up spot though so it isnt a trashy hickey. hehehaw.

pps. have you ever wondered what a chicken in a bikini might look like?

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maybe i need fantasy, a life of chasing butterflies.

I don't think I will see the movie, as there is only so much full on I can handle.

I'm a McChicken person myself

Speaking of chicken, I have salt and vinegar chicken tenders in the oven right meow. They are delicious and able to be purchased from Coles, Caloundra. I am in such a state of guilt for filling out my availability wrong. Not that it's of any immediate consequence, allowing me to change it tomorrow quite easily, but still.

I have something like 13 hours next week. Beats this week's eight, yes it does.

Adam was wearing a bright yellow 'I'm getting trolleys so have to wear this so as not to get run over' vest today, and then hit me. I think it was to make him feel better about wearing the bright yellow vest. Troy was there and he was quite rude/mean/violently angry, but not to me. Grant was cheerful, because Grant's always cheerful. Grant is so cool.

i just saw brokeback mountain with myeong. it was a little bit full on... like... yeah.
i had a fillet of fish. gosh how i love them.

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maybe i need fantasy, a life of chasing butterflies.

I don't know what you wanted to say either, but eagerly await the day it returns to your memory.

I am so hungry but there is nothing in the house that is good for me. Actually I might go eat some yoghurt. Overdosing on yoghurt is not a bad thing.

We went up to school today to say gday to the teachers we liked. It was weird. So we went to Maccas afterwards to eat chicken.

yuck coles is so disgusting. by coles i mean jaryd, haha.
oh man i had something to say and now i forget what it was...
ahh...
come on...


...

nope i've lost it.

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maybe i need fantasy, a life of chasing butterflies.

Jaryd was an ass for the last half hour or so of my shift yesterday, so I went home and cried. I consequently felt suitably pathetic. But at the same time really sneaky because everyone was home, as well as Rach and Tony, so I had to bury my head under cushions so no one would see, and that is not customary behaviour but STILL the only person who had any idea was Tony, who mouthed 'are you okay?' at me. I said yes and silently cursed Coles, it was great.

But later we played disney scrabble and that made it all okay. It was really fun.

I have to start at 8 tomorrow and as far as I know that's not even legal. 8...YUCK. really, it's yuck. The epitome of yuck.

I'm really bored, sorry.

i just came from coles caloundra, where i saw you! you suprised my, d-ozz, yes you did haha. thanks a whole bunch for the photos :c)
jamie was shopping for his bbq he is having and he needed my support haha. i have to do centrelink stuff now before i go to his hodown. sigh. centrelink.

sorry i didnt go through your register. jamie forgot bread and then he wanted to beat up kayleen.

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maybe i need fantasy, a life of chasing butterflies.

Ha, as if you couldn't cross short shorts territory anyway. They sound like a darn good pair of shorts. I love shorts. I need more, I have only one denim pair and they are heavy and too big, and this results in them being both hot in summer, and falling down.

At schoolies I slept on four dining room chairs (you know what I mean, the ones you sit on at a table) pushed together. It was Jesse's fault Ah schoolies. May we never relive it, haha.

I went a WHOLE WEEK without working, it was fantastic. I'll be there tomorrow, but only for three hours and I can handle that, and Thursday is a PUBLIC HOLIDAY and we love them.

haha. at schoolies myeong slept on two single armchairs that had been pulled together.

i finally spent my voucher i got for christmas for that surf shop in caloundra thats near cosmetics plus. i suck so much at buying clothes, but i am rather pleased this time. i got a green t-shirt and some shorts. the shorts are mainly black but they are all checkery with silver and green. very cool. a bit shorter than knee length, but in no way do they cross into short-short territory.

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maybe i need fantasy, a life of chasing butterflies.

I have eaten TOO MANY bad things, and am consequently becoming the size of, say, a rather large panda.

I had some highly interesting dreams last night. I think this is because I was sleeping on a two-seater lounge chair, and my knees were almost parallel with my chin.

:c(


i am eating a milkyway. oh yum.

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maybe i need fantasy, a life of chasing butterflies.

You had your first migraine? Ash, I'm proud! I used to be incredibly prone to the migraine, but they disappeared with my old age. I still have the medication, however, and it is great when you feel really sick and want to go to sleep.

Oh gosh, the yoghurt thing would have been great. I was there tonight (thank GOD it was only for three hours) and it was one of those shifts where you stand there and think "IHATEMYJOBANDIHATEYOU" for every second of every minute of every hour. I tried so, so hard to be nice and happy for customers, but they were all stupid so most ended up getting looks of death shot at them. The trouble is, I can't control emotion on my face. It just comes. So most people figure out very quickly if I have decided to hate them, unless they are looking away when I reached said decision. Simone and I are presidents of the We Hate Coles club. Jaryd is a member. It's not a large following yet, but it will overpower the authorities one day.

That movie does sound very sad. Prostitution in itself is very sad, but even worse when it's not the person's original choice.

I had a sad dream last night. I woke up today wanting chocolate to make it go away, ha. I bought a peanut butter kit kat at work, because it was 50c and work sucked. Maybe it sucked because I wanted to wallow in my sad dream at home not at Coles, it's hard to say. Anyway, it was me and Ben in a car (and two people in the back, but I have no idea who they were) and we got into this MASSIVE fight and I was screaming at him (I think this came about when I was talking to Jesse yesterday about how I wish I could just scream at Chris and get everything I'm thinking in the open, and also I never really yelled at Ben, if I had it might have got better instead of all this ambiguity business). Anyway, I was screaming at him, something about him not understanding and how he kept expecting that he'd just be able to say sorry and it would all be okay, but this time it wouldn't.

Next thing we were in church (he always used to take me; he lived in Bli Bli and picked me off and dropped me home, and the church was in Nambour - much driving for him) and I was sitting there by myself and he came and sat next to me on my right and I said 'I guess sorry isn't enough this time?' and he smiled his indulgent, I'll forgive you every time smile and I knew it would be okay and then I started to cry and I cried into his shoulder for a while then he took both my hands and it was very sad because that's how it used to be.

Ha. I'm talking to him right now, only to find out he has a girlfriend now. I LOVE my life. And he told me if I ever meet her and am a goose, he will throttle me. He is a dear. I guess he thinks I'm still petty enough to be a bitch to someone just because she's his girlfriend. He was so angry at this girl who did that to me, and I wasn't even his girlfriend.

It's weird. After about a year of pining I stopped automatically rejecting people because they weren't him, and instead had the occasional failed initiation of relationship, but after every failure I always thought what I wouldn't give to have him back. Then I'd think that he wasn't close to perfect, and was kind of like the people who failed. But THEN I remembered all the car trips alone with him, and there are so few lads I'd do that with now, just because it'd scare me, and how we were never scared to hug each other to bits, even though I'm not a touchy person, and how if someone was sad it was just standard to give a huge hug and see if it could be made better. If people are sad now, I try and talk to them, and don't employ the hug that much. Touch just repulses me now, unless it’s with someone who I hold in very high regard.
I'm dwelling and rambling and wanting something that I don't think I ever had, but if I could just have the good parts from him in something now I'd be so content. No one else makes me feel safe, and he always did. I guess that's the main thing.
Recently I couldn't get the 'he's going to have a girlfriend and it's going to kill me. he's going to have a girlfriend, because who wouldn't want him, and it's going to kill me.' thought out of my head. It didn't kill me though. I think it might be that last step in the closure process, because after typing all this for you to read (sorry) I don't really feel sad. Just like I've said goodbye to something I don't know if I wanted to say goodbye to. But it's gone, so what can I do about it.

Anyway, I might go beg Luke to marry me. The end.

ha yeah i meant uni.

i wish i had your strength. i am still questioning the big loud thing. i asked jaryd tonight and he looked at me like i was completely mental and said "would you like to put the sesame street toys in their pouches?" and then i forgot about the big loud thing.

MAYBE YOU'RE PREGNANT WITH THE NEXT JESUS! ok or more maybe not. i think it was something along the lines of "i am cranky" "why are you cranky?" "because i am hormonal" "huh? oh, i see where you are going with this haha, say no more, ill try to cheer you up." and i was like "oh... arent you nice!". you know who reacts REALLY badly? adam. he reacts terribly. he just ignores it, haha. i just like making boys squirm. jaryd reacts fairly well. brian never really understood my hints and i had to always come out and say it and then he'd be like "oh ok".

yeah, get this, i went home from work early on friday and got saturday off because i had my first ever (ever!) migraine and it TOTALLY SUCKED. i can't describe it any better than this: it felt like 5 thugs from redfern came at my head with baseball bats and wrenches. adam is shifty, but gosh i wish i could have seen him chase that person and then run in fear hahaha. today some person was at my register and they were on the phone and they had a fight with the person they were talking to and they hung up, threw a 2-pack of yoghurt on the floor with such intensity that they broke and spilt yoghurt guts everywhere, and then walked off quickly. i was just standing there for a bit thinking '...what just happened?'

i watched this really sad movie about girls who are sold into prostitution. i was crying for almost the whole movie! it is so sad!

i got to watch gilmore girls because i got jamie to just come to my house instead of us going out because i was still rather ill and gross looking, but thankyou all the same. i love gilmore girls. i made jamie watch it. well i didnt make him, he could have closed his eyes, but he seemed to enjoy it. lane (laine?) is hilarious.

gosh it is so so so hot.

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maybe i need fantasy, a life of chasing butterflies.

HAHAHA. My good news? You know, I don't even care what my good news is, Luke replied to it. Ha. Swoon. Do you mean uni?

Doubly blank receipt paper deserves to be used for note-writing. Otherwise, why would there be no coupons? You're totally right.

THAT THING IN THE ROOF. At first I thought it was a glimpse into the heavens, then I thought it could have been that cyclone that's in WA. But then I decided it was just another one of those Coles mysteries that it's best not to question.

I too am impressed that Jamie reacted well. What was said test, and reaction? I don't know if I would have picked him as a reacting well type, but he is a man of many hats, apparently. Speaking of which, monthly visitors are a bit overdue. I'm starting to fear for my health.
Now THAT'S a good conversation starter.

You weren't at work today! I was sad. Adam was being an ass, but doing it while pretending to be nice, if that makes sense. He is a little bit shifty. And someone stole stuff and he chased after them, took the stuff back, and ran away because the people were too tough for him to conquer on his own.

I don't have to work tomorrow, whoooooooooop. I will instead give Jesse his birthday gift. My sister is currently not home, so I have to tape Gilmore Girls for her, so if you still need it, it will be right here in my lounge room. That can easily be changed to 'at Coles' should the need arise.

ps. i just tested jamie on his reaction to the period. he reacted well, and i am both pleased and impressed.

pps. luke rang just before and i informed him of your good news. he says...
"CONGRATULATIONS DONNA!"
you guys are SO on.

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maybe i need fantasy, a life of chasing butterflies.